Screw South America!

Lots of people talk about wanting free trade with various countries in South America. I have news for you... I not only don't want free trade with South America, I don't even want free travel to South America. Why? Because if you go there, you'll probably die!

A Canadian woman died last year after stepping barefoot on several caterpillars, doctors reported in a teaching case published Monday in the Canadian Medical Association Journal. The 22-year old woman from Alberta died 10 days after stepping on five caterpillars while on a trip to northeastern Peru.

The woman felt immediate pain in her right foot, which spread to her thigh, and later developed a headache. The pain in her leg was worse when she walked on it.

Arrangements were made to get a South American antivenin treatment to Canada, but it took 48 hours to do so and by that time it was too late for the young woman who died from multi-organ failure three days after being admitted to the hospital.

There you have it. If you travel to South America, venemous caterpillars will bit you and kill you. Go to another country? Hell's Bells, I rarely leave the two block radius where I walk my bassett hound. Trust me, I've lived, at least briefly, on every continent except Antarctica in my time on this planet, and I've never found a better place than planting my fat arse on my couch right here and pecking away at my laptop. I've got 198 channels of cable TV and a very nice BBQ grill out on my deck! Butcherboy delivers steaks to my house!

South America... pfffffft. You can keep it.