Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Man bites dog? No. Dog shoots man.

(Another short note from Jazz.)

I imagine a lot more of this happens than we get to hear about, but I've been expecting it for years.
CHICAGO (AFP) - A pack of hunting dogs shot an Iowa man as he went to retrieve a fallen pheasant, authorities said.

James Harris, 37, was shot in the leg while hunting with some friends on Saturday afternoon.

"Harris reportedly went to retrieve the bird, placed his gun on the ground and crossed the fence near the muzzle end," the press release said.

"When he crossed the fence, hunting dogs stepped on the gun, which discharged and struck Harris in the left calf at a distance of roughly three feet."

If you find this surprising, you shouldn't. On the topic of hunting with canines, you'll often hear people talking about how much the dogs "enjoy" it. "Oh, they're bred for it! They really love getting out there and tracking down the [insert name of doomed target here] on a brisk fall morning!"

Bullshit. Look, people... I happen to own a Basset Hound. Yes, yes... they are supposedly bred to be hunting dogs. But I'm here to tell you that this hound is one of the laziest bastards you're ever likely to meet. He sleeps about twenty hours a day and only gets up to either bark at me if his food and water bowls are running low or to crap on the basement floor. When I get up in the morning and want him to go downstairs with me (so he won't wake up Georg later) I practically need a tazer to get the lazy mutt on to his feet and moving.

You think these dogs want us dragging them out at four a.m. to get dumped into a truck to go run around in some freezing, wet field and chase down animals they don't even get to eat after we shoot them? Ha! Reading this story, all I can say is that Mr. Harris was lucky the dog didn't shoot him in the face. (The dog's name wasn't Cheney, was it?)

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