Chapter Six: In which I casually note the imminent downfall of society as we know it

As I sat in the drawing room this morning, sipping my coffee with three sugars and seven creams, enjoying my two slices of Wonderbread toast tartare with Miracle Whip, I was perusing the news online as usual. That was when a devastating alert brought my activities to a halt. I knew in an instant that caucasoids across the land were already planning a national day of mourning and packing their things to flee to Canada. Yes, it's finally happened - white people are no longer in the majority in our country. Well... at least in one out of ten counties.

WASHINGTON - Whites are now in the minority in nearly one in 10 U.S. counties.

As of 2006, non-Hispanic whites made up less than half the population in 303 of the nation's 3,141 counties, according to figures the Census Bureau is releasing Thursday. Non-Hispanic whites were a minority in 262 counties in 2000, up from 183 in 1990.

Surely you don't need me to tell you what this means. Our long endangered white heritage has finally hit the tipping point and is crumbling fast. (And by "our" I'm simply recognizing that none of "those people" would likely be reading an enlightened blog like this.) Yes, the facts are there in black and white, if you'll pardon the phrase. Whites - once clearly defined as the majority on America, are now barely hanging on to their majority status in a scant 90% of the counties across our great nation.

Why, in another ten years we could see that number increase to 12 or even 13 percent of the counties in America. By that point you'll probably have to drive for days on end just to find a single white person. What has become of the home of the puritans? The land of the god fearing, witch dunking, child beating, Indian converting fathers of a soon to be superpower?

It is to weep.