Monday, August 6, 2007

Chapter 3: In Which I Obtain New, Cheap, Environmentally Friendly Firearms

If you are like me, and being readers of the One True Tami (blessed by Her name) I'm sure you are, you doubtless have concerns over one specific aspect of current policy and social topic, that being guns. Of course, as you likely know, it's simply getting far too difficult to get them. I myself am down to my last dozen or so, what with loans to family members who fail to return them and losses though the course of normal wear and tear. And with the long term fixation by Congress on meddling in private affairs, oh how the regulations continue to pile on. Register this, fill out that, put trigger locks on there, licenses, permits and carry-on documents. Don't bring your guns on the plane, don't take them near the school. Next thing you know you won't even be able to bring a loaded .38 snub nose into church. And that's a revolver, not even a semi-automatic. Hell, you can't get more than seven rounds into the thing and that's if you pre-load one into the chamber!

Well, good news is at hand, though perhaps through an unexpected source. Lots of guns are apparently becoming available. Apparently 190,000 assault rifles and handguns which our government issued to the Iraq armed forces have gone missing and are turning up in unlikely places... such as in the hands of people shooting at us.

Now at first blush, of course, this looks like bad news. But in this trauma filled world I generally find that it's best to look on the bright side. If these guns are on the loose and showing up locally, how long can it be before they make their way into Newark, Queens, North Chicago and South LA? Given the lack of propriety of the transactions and the impossibility of enforcing warranty, such weapons tend to be cheaper, I'd imagine. Plus, these are top grade military weapons, obviously of better quality than some of the under priced Asian imports you are likely to find on certain street corners after dusk.

Off to shopping!

No comments: