Wednesday, July 20, 2005

All the news that's printed to give you fits

With all of the attention being paid to the new SCOTUS nominee, Rove and Plame, and the war, so many truly important stories are simply falling by the wayside. Fear not! Followers of The One True Tami shall not go uninformed!

Apparently, in Shapleigh, Maine, you can't sell hot dogs from an illegally parked vendor stand. Well, unless, of course, you're a woman in a bikini.
The bikini-clad hot dog vendor near Mousam Lake in Shapleigh who ran afoul of a parking ordinance has cut a deal with state and local officials.

Under terms of the compromise, Schultze will be able to remain in her spot this season. But she'll have to move next year when she opens for business with a modified cart that she can wheel across the street.
So the bikini babe can still hand out weiners. No word yet as to whether or not "Speedo Sam" will be able to resume selling donuts.

Moving right along... what will senior citizens do after Bush finishes gutting the Social Security system? Well, industrious golden girls will stop whining and find themselves a new gig.

Woman, 76, arrested for selling drugs from second story window

A 76-year-old woman was arrested for selling crack cocaine by putting the drugs in her purse and lowering them by rope from her second-floor window.

Minnie Perlotte Collins was arrested on Friday on charges of possession and sale of a controlled substance, but she paid the $10,003 bail and was freed.
Damn. And up until then her plan had seemed foolproof.

There's been a major break in the stolen garden gnome case. And here I thought all of the little bastards had just run off and gotten jobs with Travelocity.

Some people seem like they're probably never going to make the breakthrough and move up to a major city newspaper. For example, when you publish a 16 point headline like this.


Memorial boys track and field coach taking over girls cross country team

We'll be back later with your "cows being run over by trains in Scotland" update.

Enjoy your hump day. And don't even get me started on that.

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