Like a Rock to the Forehead

Today I saw this headline:

U.S. May Have Botched Training of Iraqis

May have.

I didn't bother to read the article. Don't these people watch The Daily Show?

Putting the Terror Back in Terrorism

Suicide bomber at a bakery.

EILAT, Israel (AP) -- A Palestinian suicide bomber attacked a bakery in this southern Israeli resort town on Monday, killing three other people, police said. It was the first suicide bombing in Israel in nine months and the first ever to hit Eilat, Israel's southernmost city.

Eilat is a beautiful place at the southern tip of Israel. The weather there is so mild that people sleep in tents that they've pitched on the beach. The water there is a beautiful turquoise blue, and fish swim through it displaying their fantastically bright colors that I thought only happened under a black light until I saw them in person. I've been there on vacation twice, and neither time did it occur to me that I might get blown up if I stopped in a shop to buy some rolls. Constantly thinking about being blown up during every day events is terrifying.

An Islamic Jihad Web site said the attack was meant to help bring an end to weeks of Palestinian infighting that has 60 people in the Gaza Strip since December.

"The operation has a clear message to the Palestinian rivals. It is necessary to end the infighting and point the guns toward the occupation that has hurt the Palestinian people," the site said.

Damn. In my passive-aggressive way, I was actually hoping that they would just continue the infighting until all the violent ones were dead. I'm not even going to ask my characteristic "is that wrong?", because I'm pretty sure it is, and I don't actually care.

More Personal Crap

Oh, sure, I could pontificate about the Middle East, or about the rights of women, or about Ted Kennedy and his rant about minimum wage that I just found courtesy of Blanton's and Ashton's, but no, I'd rather talk about the fire in my kitchen yesterday.

My dad set a Hot Pocket on fire in the microwave. I didn't know you could do that. He smothered the flames, put it in a garbage bag, and then put the bag on the back deck, where it proceeded to ignite a deck chair cushion. Alas, the deck chair is lost, but we still have a deck, and a house, and all.

Unfortunately, we also have a holy hell of a lot of smoke. I didn't even think about how the smell of smoke gets into everything. My room is across the hall from the kitchen. My clothes smell faintly of charred pepperoni and plastic. Every once in a while I catch a little whiff of this, and it's driving me insane. Argh.

Yes, we bought a new microwave already. I cannot imagine living a day in my house without one. Not for me, mind you, but my dad refuses to admit that he can turn on a stove burner.

Pressed for Time II

Iwish I had more time to blog, but at least I had time to read about the Libby trial at Jill's place. She's Brilliant, you know.

Odd Horizon

Listening to the radio this morning, I was faced with the concept of an election pitting Hillary Clinton against Rudy Guiliani. Neither one of them is my favorite candidate for the job. I feel that she's too focused on politics (the schmoozing kind), and I feel that he's a pompous jerk who sometimes pushes for the wrong thing based on his personal feelings. Still, when I thought about it for a few seconds, I realized that both of them are light years better than what we've got, and I've lived through this (so far).

Basically, my brain keeps telling me that any new person at all will be better. It's getting in my way, though, because I don't want to settle for "better", I want to actualy work towards "good".

So.. That Happened

First - an apology. I haven't' been blogging because I suddenly seem to have a real job that expects me to do work during the day. I apologize for my absence and hope I can start to work out my own darn schedule.

Second - the story I had to tell the world. I was driving up 287 through Boonton, when I saw a blue streak go across the sky. It looked exactly like something burning up upon entry into our atmosphere. It did not look large. So there I was, thinking about how cool it is that I finally saw an actual meteor when they're supposed to be hitting the earth in droves anyway. all the time, when something Else happened.

There was a giant bird flying over the highway. Not unnaturally giant, just a really big bird specimen. It was the kind of bird you look at and say, "Man, that's a big bird!". And then you realize that you've made a Sesame Street reference without meaning to, and you don't mention it, and you hope to god that no one else does, either, but if you're with my dad, of course he mentions it. *sigh*. Anyway, either a crazy downdraft hit, or the bird went insane and decided to land in the middle lane of the highway in the middle of traffic. It almost hit the car in the middle lane, swerved up a bit and over towards me, and avoided my windshield by feet. Feet! And I'm telling you, the wingspan of that bird was nearly the width of my windshield. This was the point when I noticed that the bird was an eagle. Not a bald eagle, but it definitely had that head and the pointy beak. Like this one.

So there you go. Meteor and what I'm pretty darned sure was an eagle that's not supposed to be in the eastern U.S., all in one 40-second period. I don't think the rest of my day is going to be able to keep up.

I Feel Naive

I keep hoping that the current administration is suddenly going to start acting reasonable, and that things are going to level off right in the middle of the road, where they should be most of the time, anyway.

Something I heard on the radio this morning made me start thinking about this. Someone was reading the news, and they were saying how the call for more troops doesn't meet approval with "the Democrats", but the fact is that what we're doing now isn't working, and many people agree that just suddenly pulling out of Iraq would absolutely not work, so something in the middle, maybe even this exact proposed surge, could be the option to put Iraq and the U.S. in a better place.

It's not that I'm sure that I agree with this, it's just that I was so pleasantly surprised to hear it phrased as reasonable suggestions instead of straight slanderous insults that I'm thrown off of my usual game.

Or maybe I'm just a Pollyanna.

More Stuff That I'm Thinking

Because I figure if you're here, reading, you actually care.

I'm thinking that much in the same manner that you cannot get blood from a stone, you cannot get 20,000 more troops from an organization that does not have 20,000 more troops to give.

Delaware Democratic Sen. Joe Biden, a contender for his party's 2008 presidential nomination, told MSNBC that Bush was making a mistake by planning to put more troops into volatile Baghdad and needed to work toward a political solution in Iraq between Sunnis and Shi'ites.

"I think the president has got it backwards again. This escalation, he's going to come to regret. We've tried it twice," Biden said.

Biden's a contender for the '08 nomination?. Really? Because you couldn't pay me enough to vote for the man who sided with the credit card companies that rule his state on the bankruptcy bill. That bill really pissed me off. Delaware is small, but it's full of pointy bits.


So there you go, my disjointed thoughts for the day.

Rabbit Season, Duck Season...

...nope, it's Diet Season. New Year's is resolution time, when a gazillion people go on diets. For those of you who think that pills on the American market are the answer to your weight loss woes, let me once again remind you that pills are crap. If pills worked, we'd all take them, and we'd all be skinny. Because I know this, I am not at all surprised when I read that the Federal Trade Commission is fining 4 diet pill manufacturers for false claims.

[FTC Commissioner Deborah Platt] Majoras, speaking on TODAY, said the FTC investigation found that the marketers of Xenadrine had a study that said those who took a placebo actually lost more weight than those taking the pill.

"They not only didn't have studies to support the claim, they actually had a study that went the other way," she said.

I guess that there are some diet pills out there that really do work, like phen-fen, which was dangerous enough for the FDA to yank, and, of course, speed, but, um...

Yeah, I'd take them too, if they'd let me. Which brings us to the next article on MSNBC, Reading diet articles linked to eating disorders.

Don't Believe in Much

...and I certainly don't believe that Someone named "the Lord" talks to Pat Robertson.

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. - In what has become an annual tradition of prognostications, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson predicted Tuesday that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in "mass killing" late in 2007.

"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," he said during his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network. "The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Robertson said God told him during a recent prayer retreat that major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.

No offense, but it doesn't take a lot of scamming skill to predict mass killing in a country that's involved in a war. Just sayin'.

Polls Are Confusing

I took my first Zogby poll today, even though I've been getting mailings for ages. It asked a lot of multiple choice questions, which meant that I couldn't answer, "it's good if it's done this way, but bad if it's done that way". I find that a lot of my opinions depend on the implementations.

Other than that, I wish I had taken today off. There's no motivation to work. I went to some web page that supposedly calculates the name of your soulmate based on your first name. Of course I tried it, and it sent me back the following message:

Your calculated match is Alexander. Together, the two of you will be fruitful whether you are creating a family, a business, or an artistic enterprise.

I actually know two people who are called Alexander, and I think one who's actually named Alexander. I don't see me pairing off with any of them, due to one being already married, one being a zillion years younger than me, and one never showing any interest at all in the gazillion years I've known him.

Guess it's another Alexander, huh? Because I believe in web games as accurate predicters of who I should spend the rest of my life with!

Work Surprises Me

I found out yesterday that my whole group is being moved to a different manager's "stable". I'll no longer be matrixed to 2 people, and the new department manager is a man who I've respected since I met him 10 years ago. I'm actually happy to be part of his team.

Oh, and the immediate manager whom I was unintentionally, horribly rude to? He just gave me a holiday gift. It's a visa debit card for 25 bucks. I'm either relieved, or feeling even more guilty. It might be both.

I am not getting a damn wink of sleep tonight. Stupid holidays.

Phrasology

Today, on the radio, I heard the phrase "Christ on a pony!". That may even be better than my trademark exclamation, "Christ on a cracker".

What do you think?

The Good Old Days

Ex-Russky spies can rest easy:

Russia does not murder spies any more: KGB veteran

"That was long ago. It belonged to the days of Stalin," Velichko told Die Welt newspaper. He was referring to Soviet dictator Josef Stalin, who in the 1930s led a campaign of political persecution, repression and executions.

Nice to know that some stories of boogeymen aren't just made up to scare children. Wait - maybe that's not nice at all.

I'm going to think about that one for a while.

My favorite part of the headline, though, has to be the last bit: "any more".

I Am Not Always Funny

Reading Blanton's and Ashton's today, I noticed that I have something in common with Jeff Greenfield, Senior CNN Analyst; I am not always funny.

Today I walked up to a table of bald managers and said, "hey, if I shave my head, can I sit here?"

Sometimes, I am an idiot who is mean when she doesn't mean to be.

Did I mention that one of them was my boss? The same boss who just gave me a low rating on "Shows respect for others"?

Yup. Idiot.

We Thought We Were Joking

And yet, not everyone was.

Chicken Fried Bacon Strips

My favorite line: "This is good, it just needs more salt."

Writing It Down Doesn't Help

When you work at a Dunkin' Donuts drive through, you have a computerized cash register in front of you. When people order things, you press the appropriate button. Say it's a cup of coffee, you type the size, the flavor, if any, if they want whole milk, skim milk, cream or black, and what kind of sweetener, if any. It shows up on a screen so you can see what you punched in, and if it's correct. If it's a busy time of day, there are usually people working inside who then get the order together, based on what's on the screen. Simple! You barely need to be literate.

Today, I went to the Dunkin' Donuts drive through, and I asked for a medium hazelnut coffee with cream and 2 Splendas, and a large cinnamon coffee with cream and 3 Splendas. When I got to the window where you pay, I saw that the inside people were all familiar, experienced workers. They were the people who give me my coffee every morning, and I found that reassuring. Sure, the girl who took my order was new, but that's the easy part.

Later, when I went to take a sip of the medium coffee (this is what I drink on the hour-plus ride to work) I discovered no flavoring at all. Plain coffee! It was OK, but I was looking for the girly drink. Now, I'm at my desk, and sipping on the delicious large hazelnut coffee. This is not what I ordered. I can only come to the conclusion that the girl standing at that computerized cash register pushed the wrong buttons, and because she's actually functionally illiterate, she couldn't tell that the wrong words were coming up on the screen.

I have no choice but to blame the government's "no child left behind" program. I hear that nowadays they teach to the test, so if someone could please add the word "hazelnut" to the test, I think that would improve the quality of all of our lives. You know, while they're at it, I'd appreciate if they could add the word "latte", too. It's a new world we live in, they can just put these words in where they used to put "would you like fries with that?".

Fridays Aren't Supposed to Suck

I have finished all the work that I can complete without further input from people who are on vacation, and I snapped the wheel off of my chair. Crack, just split the plastic right down the middle. I picked the wheel up and saw that it's completely jammed up and unable to turn, hence the break. What's it jammed up with? My hair. Doesn't anyone ever vacuum here?

I cannot leave, so I'm stuck in my cubicle guest chair, and now I know that I shed more than a normal human. This is not a joyous day.

I Haven't Said Anything In A While

It's a combination of reasons, really. I've been sick, I have a lot to do at work, and if I'm being honest with myself and all of you, I'm not sure how much more I really have to say.

Do I have to say that I fear our current administration and the fact that they've been treating the world like some game of Risk that they're actively trying to lose? Because seriously, you want to take any territory, you need a fuckload of troops, and that's the way it's always going to be. I think I'm talking about Risk, there.

Do I have to say that I'm appalled about people's attitudes towards repressing gay marriage or the "right to choose"? Look, civil marriage is civil marriage, and religious marriage is religious marriage. Religions can make up all the rules they want about who can and can't be married under their umbrellas, but civil services are supposed to be completely secular, and it seems to me that any two humans that tell me they're in love and want to make a family should go ahead and have a good time. And the right to choose? I'm totally talked out on that one. I have the same story, the same tag line: People who don't believe in abortions never have to have them, but for those of us who do think that they're a safe and effective way from bringing unwanted children into this world, they're essential. Having children is the most important thing most people ever do, it's important that it's a decision to do so, not a sentence.

I don't want to talk about Israel any more because it depresses me beyond reason. I think that the Jews should have a homeland, and I was pretty happy with Israel being that homeland, but the violence has worn down reason, and I don't think that anyone is the good guy any more. Too many people killing too many other people. The moral high ground has become a muddy morass of missiles flying in every direction, and no one can stand on it.

So there you go - in one post I've talked about the majority of my most important issues, and I can't see why I keep saying the same things over and over.

What am I Thinking?

I'm thinking that I'm tired of "Regular Joe" speech from our president, and for once would to hear that someone is "Absolutely the correct person" instead of "Right Guy" for the job. Even if I don't think that person is correct for the job. Formality only seems stiff and unnecessary when it's over-done, and I actually miss it when it's NOWHERE.

I'm also thinking that men who call powerful women whores are scared of powerful women. At least they're not calling Nancy Pelosi a slut. That would just be idiotic. Why do insults directed at women inevitably end up directed right at her privates? Now that I've said that out loud, I wonder how many times I've called Bush a dickhead, and wonder if I should just be less sensitive. Huh. Probably not, we're probably all wrong, here. I'll put that on my list of things to work on: "Start calling people assholes instead of gender-specific insults". Got it.

And since I'm catching up at Shakespeare's Sister, now I'm thinking that America was NEVER a Christian nation. It was ALWAYS supposed to be secular. Do people think that Benjamin Franklin believed in god? Would someone with a fear of the all-powerful try to attract electricity from the sky? Of course not!!