I have, over the course of this weekend, realized that I am depressed.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming Depression with a capital D, known to be a very serious disease that absolutely needs treatment. No, I mean that a lot of sad things have been going on, and they seem to have gotten me down.
Clue 1) My housemate confronted me about how bitchy and back-stabby I'm being about his peccadilloes. Yes, he's doing the things I complain about, but none of them are a big deal, and I've been moaning about them a LOT.
Clue 2) I stocked up on healthy food and interesting ingredients. I have cooked and/or baked nothing. Instead I've been going to drive-throughs. Instead of pomegranate lamb with herbed couscous, or tarragon chicken with creamed spinach, I'm eating Wendy's chili and KFC mashed potatoes. Even on the weekends, when I wake up with all sorts of plans for things that I can make and freeze, so that I can re-heat them when I am rushed or tired during the week - even then I do not cook or bake. I stay in my room until noon, doing nothing, and then I sit on my couch until 10 at night, doing nothing.
Clue 3) Doing nothing. I skip parties, and dinners, and workshops. I sit on the couch, sometimes watching Lifetime movies. I go to work, and I go to the gym, and then I go home.
So that's my story. I'm sad, and I've realized it. I'm telling the world, because that's my first step out of the hole. Time to start climbing.
4 comments:
Oh honey, it does sound like you're depressed. I have no suggestions because all I can say is I still think you're great, so that's what I have for you.
Cooking is therapeutic but depression always makes one want to do nothing. I've been cooking things you can't get in Minnesota because Minnesota food culture sucks. I have learned to make bagels (excellent bagels) and lox (they have smoked salmon, but not lox, which is cured). It has made me feel very happy now to have good bagels and real lox. Think of a food that you remember from childhood and haven't had in decades, then make it. Maybe that food memory will help lift the depression.
Thanks, DB. I went on a vacation. Holy cripes, do vacations help. I flew to Miami, and got on a giant boat, where there was a ton of live music and delicious food, and a stunning ocean view from most places that I sat. I still have boyfriend and housemate issues, but at least now I also had a solid week of fun.
Sounds good to me. The food thing is good too.
Glad you're feeling better. As for boyfriend issues, you're too good for him. Not that I've met him, but I have met you.
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