Nipples!

There doesn't seem to be much that the media, the TSA and the Department of Homeland Security can agree on these days. But if there's one item at the top of all of their agendas, it's the overwhelming importance of getting out any story that involves nipple rings.

A Texas woman who said she was forced to remove a nipple ring with pliers in order to board an airplane called Thursday for an apology by federal security agents and a civil rights investigation.

Hamlin, 37, said she was trying to board a flight from Lubbock to Dallas on Feb. 24 when she was scanned by a Transportation Security Administration agent after passing through a larger metal detector without problems.

The female TSA agent used a handheld detector that beeped when it passed in front of Hamlin's chest, the Dallas-area resident said.

A friend of mine had convinced me to get my nipples pierced back in the nineties. In fact, she convinced me roughly seven times, but only managed to do it after I'd had about seven shots of tequila and, by then, all the piercing places were closed. I'm feeling more and more lucky about that these days. I'm considering going out to the Democratic National Convention this summer, and I'd hate to be caught in some bloody, tearful incident involving needle nose pliers at the boarding gate.

So, for all of you who are now cringing and crossing your arms over your chests, happy Friday!