A Really Expensive Pussy (cat)

(Another post from Jazz)

House Cat Makes Scientific History

An Abyssinian cat from Missouri, named Cinnamon, has just made scientific history. Researchers have largely decoded her DNA, a step that may aid the search for treatments for both feline and human diseases.

Doctors at the institute are hailing this as "a significant breakthrough in the field of medicine which should allow us to advance the cause of preventative care for... Cinnamon the cat."

In the future, this research should allow doctors to decode your genome and provide fabulous medical assistance for roughly 2.1 billion dollars.

Is anyone else getting a little impatient with this process? Going back to the time when I was a child (and we're talking quite a while here) we were being told that we were decoding the human genetic structure. And once we were done, we would be able to do all sorts of amazing things. Nobody would get sick, we could turn off "switches" that caused bad things to happen to us, we would all live to be 200, be trim, beautiful, and have large penises and/or breasts.

Thus far the only "practical" application I've seen from all this work was some guys who made pigs glow green in the dark. Now don't get me wrong, here... I'm as big a fan of glowing green pigs as the next guy. God only knows that bacon gets pretty boring and florescent pork products could certainly perk up your next fabulous socialite brunch.

But as useful as that may be, is this all we have to look forward to? Will we next be seeing Cinnamon's name changed to Absinthe when she starts glowing green? Surely there's something more we can be doing with all of this DNA information.

Great. You've got a house cat covered for life without needing an HMO. But meanwhile I'm still sitting here hung like a badger! When will my porn star penis genetic injection be ready?? Couldn't you at least make my eyes blue? The head shots I had done for my soon to be launched radio show came out terrible, and I think sparkling blue eyes could really add to my market value. Get on the stick, you scientists!