Polls Are Confusing

I took my first Zogby poll today, even though I've been getting mailings for ages. It asked a lot of multiple choice questions, which meant that I couldn't answer, "it's good if it's done this way, but bad if it's done that way". I find that a lot of my opinions depend on the implementations.

Other than that, I wish I had taken today off. There's no motivation to work. I went to some web page that supposedly calculates the name of your soulmate based on your first name. Of course I tried it, and it sent me back the following message:

Your calculated match is Alexander. Together, the two of you will be fruitful whether you are creating a family, a business, or an artistic enterprise.

I actually know two people who are called Alexander, and I think one who's actually named Alexander. I don't see me pairing off with any of them, due to one being already married, one being a zillion years younger than me, and one never showing any interest at all in the gazillion years I've known him.

Guess it's another Alexander, huh? Because I believe in web games as accurate predicters of who I should spend the rest of my life with!

Work Surprises Me

I found out yesterday that my whole group is being moved to a different manager's "stable". I'll no longer be matrixed to 2 people, and the new department manager is a man who I've respected since I met him 10 years ago. I'm actually happy to be part of his team.

Oh, and the immediate manager whom I was unintentionally, horribly rude to? He just gave me a holiday gift. It's a visa debit card for 25 bucks. I'm either relieved, or feeling even more guilty. It might be both.

I am not getting a damn wink of sleep tonight. Stupid holidays.

Phrasology

Today, on the radio, I heard the phrase "Christ on a pony!". That may even be better than my trademark exclamation, "Christ on a cracker".

What do you think?

The Good Old Days

Ex-Russky spies can rest easy:

Russia does not murder spies any more: KGB veteran

"That was long ago. It belonged to the days of Stalin," Velichko told Die Welt newspaper. He was referring to Soviet dictator Josef Stalin, who in the 1930s led a campaign of political persecution, repression and executions.

Nice to know that some stories of boogeymen aren't just made up to scare children. Wait - maybe that's not nice at all.

I'm going to think about that one for a while.

My favorite part of the headline, though, has to be the last bit: "any more".

I Am Not Always Funny

Reading Blanton's and Ashton's today, I noticed that I have something in common with Jeff Greenfield, Senior CNN Analyst; I am not always funny.

Today I walked up to a table of bald managers and said, "hey, if I shave my head, can I sit here?"

Sometimes, I am an idiot who is mean when she doesn't mean to be.

Did I mention that one of them was my boss? The same boss who just gave me a low rating on "Shows respect for others"?

Yup. Idiot.

We Thought We Were Joking

And yet, not everyone was.

Chicken Fried Bacon Strips

My favorite line: "This is good, it just needs more salt."

Writing It Down Doesn't Help

When you work at a Dunkin' Donuts drive through, you have a computerized cash register in front of you. When people order things, you press the appropriate button. Say it's a cup of coffee, you type the size, the flavor, if any, if they want whole milk, skim milk, cream or black, and what kind of sweetener, if any. It shows up on a screen so you can see what you punched in, and if it's correct. If it's a busy time of day, there are usually people working inside who then get the order together, based on what's on the screen. Simple! You barely need to be literate.

Today, I went to the Dunkin' Donuts drive through, and I asked for a medium hazelnut coffee with cream and 2 Splendas, and a large cinnamon coffee with cream and 3 Splendas. When I got to the window where you pay, I saw that the inside people were all familiar, experienced workers. They were the people who give me my coffee every morning, and I found that reassuring. Sure, the girl who took my order was new, but that's the easy part.

Later, when I went to take a sip of the medium coffee (this is what I drink on the hour-plus ride to work) I discovered no flavoring at all. Plain coffee! It was OK, but I was looking for the girly drink. Now, I'm at my desk, and sipping on the delicious large hazelnut coffee. This is not what I ordered. I can only come to the conclusion that the girl standing at that computerized cash register pushed the wrong buttons, and because she's actually functionally illiterate, she couldn't tell that the wrong words were coming up on the screen.

I have no choice but to blame the government's "no child left behind" program. I hear that nowadays they teach to the test, so if someone could please add the word "hazelnut" to the test, I think that would improve the quality of all of our lives. You know, while they're at it, I'd appreciate if they could add the word "latte", too. It's a new world we live in, they can just put these words in where they used to put "would you like fries with that?".

Fridays Aren't Supposed to Suck

I have finished all the work that I can complete without further input from people who are on vacation, and I snapped the wheel off of my chair. Crack, just split the plastic right down the middle. I picked the wheel up and saw that it's completely jammed up and unable to turn, hence the break. What's it jammed up with? My hair. Doesn't anyone ever vacuum here?

I cannot leave, so I'm stuck in my cubicle guest chair, and now I know that I shed more than a normal human. This is not a joyous day.

I Haven't Said Anything In A While

It's a combination of reasons, really. I've been sick, I have a lot to do at work, and if I'm being honest with myself and all of you, I'm not sure how much more I really have to say.

Do I have to say that I fear our current administration and the fact that they've been treating the world like some game of Risk that they're actively trying to lose? Because seriously, you want to take any territory, you need a fuckload of troops, and that's the way it's always going to be. I think I'm talking about Risk, there.

Do I have to say that I'm appalled about people's attitudes towards repressing gay marriage or the "right to choose"? Look, civil marriage is civil marriage, and religious marriage is religious marriage. Religions can make up all the rules they want about who can and can't be married under their umbrellas, but civil services are supposed to be completely secular, and it seems to me that any two humans that tell me they're in love and want to make a family should go ahead and have a good time. And the right to choose? I'm totally talked out on that one. I have the same story, the same tag line: People who don't believe in abortions never have to have them, but for those of us who do think that they're a safe and effective way from bringing unwanted children into this world, they're essential. Having children is the most important thing most people ever do, it's important that it's a decision to do so, not a sentence.

I don't want to talk about Israel any more because it depresses me beyond reason. I think that the Jews should have a homeland, and I was pretty happy with Israel being that homeland, but the violence has worn down reason, and I don't think that anyone is the good guy any more. Too many people killing too many other people. The moral high ground has become a muddy morass of missiles flying in every direction, and no one can stand on it.

So there you go - in one post I've talked about the majority of my most important issues, and I can't see why I keep saying the same things over and over.